Saying Goodbye

I wasn’t ready to hear it.. I could never have been ready, to hear the words that you were gone.. to hear that you were no more.. I’m still not ready to shut that door

The echoes of your laughter still fill my heart, the memory of your smile still lifts me up, the spaces between my fingers still feel empty from your grasp

I remember so vividly the day you were taken from me.. I stopped counting the days but I recount the memories

All the things that you would say.. all the things that you would do.. every single thing about you

You promised to love me forever.. you said you would always stand by me, so where should I fall when I don’t have you to lean on

Where should I go when nowhere feels like home, what should I do when my tears for you will be forever.. when every breath feels forced and suffocated because I can no longer share it with you

My heart is wounded, my emotions overwhelmed, even my mind is perplexed.. it cannot understand the pain, refuses to understand the pain

I want to go into a dark corner and cry until my delusions bring you back, I want to run away into the misty night and wake up by your side, I want to whisper “I love you” and hear you say it back

But you are gone.. from my sight, from my touch you are gone

I can hate it and I can fight it but you are still gone

It can shake me and even threaten to break me but you are long gone

So I must rise.. from the anguish and the misery I must rise

From the anger and the fury I must rise

From the fear and the loneliness I must rise

From all that you taught me not to be, for all that your love fought for me to be I must rise

Because when I see you again, I’d want to tell you how you still used to make me smile.. everyday you make me smile


3 thoughts on “Saying Goodbye

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