Where Were My Words

Why do the words not come easy.. why does my tongue resist their formation

Does my throat harbour so much resentment that it dare not say ‘thank you’

Do the words ‘great work’ instill so much uncertainty to my ears they dare not hear them

Am I slave of my emotions that they hold me captive and my words are the soldiers on guard

Because I now wish I had said the words, when I had words to say.. when I had people to say them to

I now wish I had fought back the invisible fears and the invisible masters who numbed me to silent obedience

For if only I had told you how beautiful you were.. how talented you were.. how very much.. if only

But instead you listened to those other voices.. you believed those other voices.. you succumbed to those other voices

I look at your beauty now, washed away and plain and I wish.. No, I mourn

I should have found my words.. I should have dug them out.. I should never have feared how your eyes would have seen me then

Because now even what is left of your eye cannot but blink as the harsh winds pass you by


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