Scarred Reflection, Blurred Perfection

You hold up the mirror and all you see is a scarred reflection, blurred perfection staring back at you

You don’t understand it because you thought that everyone loves you, you’ve tried to make everyone love you

Walking on eggshells, bending over backwards, limiting your abilities so they wouldn’t feel underachieved in your presence

But it has made you weak, it has made you question your very heart, made you question your very being

Do you really know who you are anymore?

Do you still remember your high pitched queer laugh, the one that made you forget all sadness and feel nothing but joy.. the one they said was inappropriate for a lady such as yourself, that you were just to smile and wave, even at the married man who liked your neck for more than its pearls, who liked your lips for more than their words.. because his lustful eyes were just his way of expressing himself, you were just to smile and wave

Do you still remember when your definition of being a man was being respectful to a woman, showing love to a woman without even touching her, wanting to be with a woman because of the substance of her heart and not the substance of her skin .. not keeping a vague list of how many you had been with, vague because in your drunken stupor you could barely remember their faces, their names.. didn’t they each have a face, and a name, and a story

Aren’t they each trying to play this game, where they please everybody, where they lose themselves in a world that does not really know itself

Remember when you could smile without holding up a mirror, smile when there was no camera, dance when there was no one watching

Do you remember laughing at your own jokes, crying when a stray animal had been killed, staying home because you just didn’t have the money

When your health was more important than the clothes you wore, more important than the places you had been to, your esteem more valuable than who you were with, or that you were even with someone

When did it become so important what they think of you, what they say about you.. that you would chase the world and lose your dreams, break your already broken soul

Don’t you know that you are more than pretty, more than handsome, more than intellectual or witty.. your worth more than your central banks’ value in gold

You are a stunning heart, you are a fierce mind, you are a wonder that even the stars behold

Hold up that mirror.. do you remember who you used to be.. is it the same person that you see..?

Let not your soul be caged by the categories of this world.. let it instead be free.. To be defined by its true and unfailing worth, be defined by more than its shell

Hold up that mirror one more time.. tell me, what is it that you see?


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