Before I Propose

Hunnie, before I propose I have to ask… will you say yes?

I mean, is this what you want, am I what you want, who you want, all you want?

I haven’t bought the ring yet… what colour would you want it to be?

What size… do you want one ring or two…

Okay, I’ll surprise you… and I’ll buy two, you know one for the engagement and the other for when you say ‘I do’

I’m smiling just thinking about it

No, don’t worry about the costs; I’ve got it covered… I’ve got you covered… I’m the man, I’m your man

Yeah I know I lost my job last week, I know things were already tight before that… no, I’m not afraid, doesn’t love conquer all?

I’ve heard that it does… I’ve heard that it does…

But even if it doesn’t, I’ve still got my house, I could sell that… it’s been in my family for generations, should be worth a fortune

Oh where would we live? Well I suppose we could find a smaller house… shouldn’t be that hard, people sell their houses every day

And I’ll find another job, don’t worry about that… don’t worry about that

I’ll give you the best life, I promise that I will… you know I love you, don’t you?

I know I’ve never said it… I probably should, or do you not want me to, is it too early for me to say those words?

I suppose though that before I propose, I should get to know your family, know where you hail from

I suppose also that before I propose, I should get to know you better, know your values, know your principles, and know your goals and your visions

Okay, I probably need to know your name as well… maybe it’s Mokisha, strange and beautiful as you are

I should start by saying my name… by saying hello… yes, I’ve never said a word to you, nor you to me… but can I tell you, I’ve heard your voice, no not in my dreams, I’ve really heard your voice… and it is beautiful! So beautiful I want to marry you…

I saw you on that market stall selling what look like the most beautiful maize cobs I’ve ever seen, I heard you talk to your customers, I think I even heard you laugh… what an angelic laughter it was

So you see, I do know a few things about you and the last seven minutes since I first saw you and started thinking about our lives together, they’ve been the best seven minutes of my morning

I hope you don’t think I’m strange, since I’ve just been staring at you, not sure how many times I’ve blinked…

I hope you don’t think I’m strange, with my funny hair and my funny clothes, at least I showered… yesterday morning I showered… just trying to conserve the water and keep the bills low, I lost my job you see, so I am trying to save for our future

Maybe I should come over and buy some maize, so that I can say hello

I stand up from my corner and start walking in your direction

I hear voices around me, they’re probably cheering me on, and they too know we’re perfect for each other

As I get closer my knees begin to quiver, I almost lose my footing but I keep going

Beads of sweat start to form on my forehead and my armpits feel unusually watery… it’s a hot day anyway

Suddenly my tongue feels swollen and my lips begin to shake… I fear I am an unpleasant sight by now

But you will love me for my heart won’t you, you will love me for my heart…

I feel a sharp pain in my chest and my left arm tingles… maybe I need a doctor, maybe I’ve got a fever… maybe we should do this tomorrow..


12 thoughts on “Before I Propose

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